nightmare poem – Ink Child Writing

Sometimes I hate the mind in me, it’s wildness it’s flourish and sweep. For, eyes closed and curled without leashing, it tortures to make me weep.

Sometimes all that happens, is I wake from terrified sleep.

Night Waking

Cold wind along a cheek and heart a balloon swelling to explode

Feel it pushing at the edges of the ribs looking for a place to rub itself just so for the rupture that will be life blood spilling out the door

Of lips.

Paralyzed blink in the dark and see sparkles of light

Stars too far away to be of use they are just earrings for the sky

And black when eyes open and eyes close, there is

Black inside, black outside

The swelling balloon is painful then. Pressure builds inside the throat. Threads of spit and sadness cling to the parting circle of lips

First sound is hard. It skips and stutters as it leaves. A cracked voice like a brand new baby bird after it’s been crushed

No words. Despair has no words

Just feeling

A tsunami to consume, And lead limbs to aid in drowning.

Only the tears exploding can help

But those are bottled up inside

Within, the swelling balloon looks for a place to pierce itself

Finding nothing

Dark inside, dark outside

Smooth as unbroken useless glass

There will be no wrist slitting for this heart

Just the agony of swelling and never dying out