The year is 2042. Your daughter is awkwardly silent as she eats her dinner. “Something wrong sweetie?” She sighs and puts down her fork. “I was digging really deep in AO3 last night…Why didn’t you finish that coffee shop au?” It happened. Your past has come back to haunt you. Nay, it never truly left.
U CANNOT OUTRUN UR CRIME
OKAY BUT WAIT. This has happened to me. Recently. Because I am old and I have things out there from previous fandoms with previous pseuds and one day my teenager begins a rant at me about people never finishing any WIPs on the pit of voles (which he does not call the pit of voles because he has No Knowledge of such a thing but yet he still reads on which I didn’t think anyone did any longer) and he points out an example to me of something I WROTE AND LEFT WIPing for ages and he has NO IDEA #1 that his mom wrote this and #2 How much it still haunts me to this day that it will. sit. there. for. eternity. because I am too lazy to pull it down.
“what is a popular Japanese boy name?” “What is the age of maturity in Canada?” “How does someone underage inherit a large estate?” “What are the stages of alcohol withdrawal?” “What does naturalization look like in Japan? In Canada? In America? In Switzerland?” “What happens when your rib breaks?” “Can a minor move overseas with the consent of a guardian?” “How much does a P.O box cost?” “How do you mix a strong martini?” “What is the largest wasp in the world?”
. is it morally wrong to doxx someone who consistently sends you “kill yourself” messages? i mean, just… theoretically… ya know? for science, let us discuss
That fantastic sigh-of-relief moment when a giant gaping plothole stares you in the face and the solution lights up in your head with the flames of a thousand suns.
has detailed if not meticulous notes on the universe they’ve created, down to the food eaten and language quirks, they use mythos and setting to bring it all together
most of the character’s backstories are already loving laid out, though may not be all connected yet.
Has yet to write a full chapter. (But they’re getting there!)
The Bae
Story is centered around a complex and engaging OC that they’ve spent years developing
said OC has been through A Lot, the love is real, so is the pain
OC may sort of be a loser? ie the story is a character-driven piece where the plot is moved ahead by said character’s bad decisions and questionable habits
The Researcher
akin to the lore-ist but spends more of their time on wikipedia articles jotting down notes and things like how much a watermelon weighs
Everything from knowing Too Much about child-care to how a body decomposes or flapper chest-binding is on the table, their breadth is large and Should Be Feared
takes a long time to start but make the most of their words, from spot-on sci-fi to history to murder, readers will learn something on the way
The Lemon Flavored Factory
alright take it back now y’all, this writer has written enough smut to make a tom cat blush, they can write other things too, and often well, but there will inevitably be bed-rattling at some point (or car or shower)
either unusually creative or just sticks to classics like Aliens Made Them Do It, neither is necessarily bad but there is oddly little in between
their author’s notes tend to be hilarious or at least very self-aware
The Word Vomit Canoe
action oriented writer who spews out the words before they know what is happening, no plans, no outlines, 10k of the first thing that comes to mind, sometimes things like ‘maybe dragons?’ & they go with it
their strengths are productivity, weaknesses are not knowing what the hell is going on
style is marked by fast-paced tone and downright impressive word count
The Muse
their inspiration doesn’t come as often, but they are always listening for her & redy 2 go
update schedule is…sporadic at best, but makes up for it with long chapters and clean editing
Will write 30 pages in a day and then take a few months off, enjoys one-shots but can do longer works
doesn’t have the best sense of time and when they are in The Zone may forget to eat or shower
i was going to say that i didn’t fit any of these and then the Muse showed up and i was like – aw fuck. There i am. seriously needed a lawn mower to deal with my unshaved legs after my last bout of inspiration. Lived off granola, almond milk and sporadic bits of meals my family brought me when checking for my pulse.
I have read a lot of fanfiction. There are some really promising authors out there that are writing full length novels and trilogies on some of their favorite works and I commend you all. That kind of work is just insane to comprehend- insane to do. The creativity is awesome.
One pet peeve though: RESEARCH-specifically about one thing this time: Starvation
I read a fanfic recently that reminded me of this and how often I see it. Starvation- the concept of someone not having enough food for a long enough period of time that they are weak and or dying from it.
The scene was a really intense emotional one, in fact I would say it was the climax. However I kept being distracted by the fact that the character was essentially dying after being without food for 7 days. (nope)
Actually- they had eaten occasionally,(nope nope) not much but some in the 7 days. And in that period of time they were drawn and thin, their cheeks were sunken in their skin was yellow. (nope nope nope)
No. No. Nopers.
We can survive without WATER for 7 days. Without FOOD though- that’s another ball game.
I’ve done fasts for 14, 18, and 23 days respectively on nothing but water. NOTHING BUT WATER.
It’s not pleasant the first three days, but after that you’re mostly just a little tired and the pangs of hunger actually subside.
You don’t have a lot of energy, for sure. You lose a good chunk of muscle mass.(and it can affect your heart, mineral levels lower rapidly. The fasts I did were supervised. Quitting eating is never a good idea without some back up. Seriously.) You get headaches if you don’t rest enough or drink enough water.
I have met people who start looking starved after doing 40 day fasts. They were originally rather slim so I think that’s why they looked so skeletal. But they were still moving around, talking, going to things. (these fasts are done for religious reasons so it’s possible that they are being sustained by something greater than themselves at this point, but let’s not go there that’s not the point of this post.)
40 days though, guys.
So, if you’re going to starve a character, if you want them to look on the brink of death consider a some things:
a)have they had access to water and would they have drank it? (if they are depressed and therefore shutting down, maybe not. Maybe 7 days is a real time frame for their decline because it’s an emotional starvation as well as a water and food one. 7 days is long enough for a person to start looking pretty close to kicking the bucket without any water)
b) has someone been forcing them to eat a little here and there? (example: someone depressed has a caretaker forcing them to eat occasionally, and drink often enough. 7 days is NOT long enough for them to be gaunt, yellow or dying. These people can likely stand on their own, walk on their own, and argue with some energy if angered.)
c)is this person trying to survive, actively searching for a way to remedy their starvation and thirst? (this person could potentially over tax their body if they have not had water or have had water and no food for an extended period of time while they search for food. but they can last pretty well with water only and rest for a period of over 2 weeks, easy. If they are for instance fasting in protest to something and are relatively relaxed then longer.)
There’s a lot of info on starvation. It’s not a new concept. A quick google search will help remedy issues with time frames. If you wanna starve a character though- remember it takes longer than a week with water.
If you really want to speed it up- take their water away. You evil god of your universe. Strike them with drought!
Ink Child Writing 