These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease”. “That depends, Sir,“ said Disraeli, “whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”
“He had delusions of adequacy.” – Walter Kerr
“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”- Winston Churchill
“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” -Clarence Darrow
“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” – William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” – Moses Hadas
“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain
“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends..” – Oscar Wilde
“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend…. if you have one.” (George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill) “Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second …. if there is one.“ (Winston Churchill, in response.)
“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” – Stephen Bishop
“He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” – John Bright
“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” – Irvin S. Cobb
“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” – Samuel Johnson
“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” – Paul Keating
“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” – Charles, Count Talleyrand
“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” – Forrest Tucker
“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” -Mark Twain
“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” – Mae West
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde
“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts… for support rather than illumination.” Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
“He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” – Billy Wilder
“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” Groucho Marx
Set up a writing routine that works for you. Some people can write every day, others every other day, some once a week or even less frequently. We all lead different lives and that means different writing paces. (Still, don’t use that as an excuse to never get anything done.)
….some people write 20 or 30 k in two days and disappear from writing for weeks
Hello! Thank you! It’s been a while since I’ve written these two, and this prompt made me giggle.
Of all the places
Rey’s fought in the past – month? has it been a month since she
left Jakku? – the Millennium Falcon has proven to be the least
suitable setting for any kind of combat. It’s a good ship to fight with, sure, but its interior is cramped, full of
remnants that Chewie can’t bear to part with and goods that Rey
knows too little about to confidently throw away. The warp drive
constantly gives out. The control panel is a mess of wires. Whenever
Rey thinks she feels a shuddering in the Force, she has to double
check and ensure that it’s not just the ship throwing a fit around
her.
She loves it.
What
she doesn’t love is carting the recently-defected Kylo Ren around
half the kriffing galaxy. She does it at General Organa’s request,
anyhow, for a multitude of reasons, the least of which being that if
anyone in the Rebellion can subdue the glorified ex-Sith Lord, it’s
her.
first you have to know that antony and cleopatra had known each other at this point for like…. shit almost 15 years? and had had a correspondence on and off throughout that time. they’d known each other through her exile, through his campaigns, through her first child, through his (failed) interim consulship. it’s conjectural to say they were on good terms but… i don’t know why they wouldn’t be.
so when antony found out that cleopatra had funded cassius and brutus during the civil war? he was like, what the fuck. what theFUCK! (yells out window) OCTAVIAN DID YOU HEAR THIS! WHAT THE FUCK!
so antony issues a summons: cleopatra is to come to him so she can Explain Her Self. to this cleopatra replies: what the fuck did you just say to me?
(and you might be like, wait, why is that an issue? and i’ll tell you why, it’s because cleopatra, despite essentially being a (very tenuous) client king to rome at this point, vulnerable to invasion and just barely out of the woods re her connection with caesar, was a macedonian through and through: from language to looks to, you guessed it, ego. and she was fucking. insulted. HOW DARE HE! she probably yelled to charmian. I AM BLOOD! OF! PTOLEMY! NOBODY SUMMONS ME! charmian: i understand that your majesty can you please eat your dinner now)
antony summons her twice more. finally cleopatra, personification of the upside down smile emoji, says, okay! i’ll come. see you soon!! (:
now. cleopatra knew two things:
One: that she was richer than antony, and antony wouldn’t be able to afford a reciprocal feast if she went all out, which would be hugely embarrassing for him
and Two: that a lot of people liked to say antony was a dumb hoe, impressed only by material goods and lavishness, and that he didn’t like when people said this.
so naturally cleopatra proceeds to sail up the river to tarsus in an huge fuck-off ship, plus her entire waitstaff, 12 dining tables, a feast that was lavish beyond belief, entertainment, probably some peacocks or whatever, all decked out in pearls and jewels.
antony: wtf! why are you being so mean rn! cleopatra: mocking baby voice: why are you being so mean rn??? (normal voice) FUCK you
antony didn’t ask her why she had supported cassius ever again. and that was the beginning of the most famous love affair in history
First paragraph of the actual fic: I judge the whole fic by the first words and I assume you do too so here it is
“Just a series or drabbles/headcanons/prompts”: Someday I want to write an incredible 200k fic but for now have fun going through all the chapters trying to figure out which one is the one you actually want to read
“Will X be able to find love before Y happens?” And other questions: I read entirely too many YA novels
Quote from the actual fic: I watch entirely too many movie trailers
“Basically just an X fic with Y characters”: I can probably write a good summary if I cared a little more
Song lyrics: I have no idea how summaries work and I’m trying to be like the people with poem quotes
Poem quotes: either the best thing you’ve ever read or 13-year old English literature purple prose there is no in-between
Lol I can’t do summaries: I’m not entirely sure if I want you to read my fic
“Wtf is this” or other author questioning themselves: it’s either porn or crack
Explicit rated fics: listen my man I know you’re not gonna really read the summary just read the tags and decide if my sin is the sin for you
Paragraph of tags and one line summary: ok listen I can’t do summaries but I’ve got this ok IVE GOT THIS
dictionary definition: fluff or angst here you go
Either a meme or a tumblr imagine your otp: I was bored and I had emotions about my ship you can have emotions about them too
Paragraph from the source the fic is from: I’ve basically written my headcanon and made it prettier
“I’m so sorry” or “I cried while writing this” : I was in a sad mood and I needed a healthy way to release these emotions so now y’all get to suffer
No summary: it’s either porn or a small drabble and it all depends on the word count
Actual fic summary: *rocks back on old wheelchair* listen kid *smokes cigarette* I’ve seen and read a lot of things *blows smoke* and I know it’s hard but there’s still hope in this world ok? *looks into the distance* also you might wanna read the tags because the chances of gore and/or character death being in my fic have gone from 0 to 75
Ink Child Writing 