Author: inkychild

In your own words how do you think the meeting went between the person who first discovered glue and his business partners? I imagine that they were pretty shocked to find he was melting down the hooves of a cow for any reason at all.

I literally cannot stop laughing. But also- good point. 

I have a feeling that the whole melting down animal parts was more common back then, seeing as nothing was really wasted. This is full on speculation though because I can’t imagine how that went… like where they making a stew with the off bits of  cow and then left it on the fire too long and the hooves got super sticky??? 

Business Partner One (or BP1): “You’re going to have to run this by me again.” 
BP2: “A minimum of ten times more, for me.” 
Glue Entrepreneur: *vastly exasperated* “My god, you’re thick as glue. Okay. Okay, so you take the hooves…”
BP1: “Mhm.” 
BP2: “Go on.” 
GE: “And you melt them-”
BP1: “Ugh, I can just imagine the smell.” 
BP2: “I thought that was GE’s body odour.” 
GE: “What?! What??!?” 
BP1: “Oh, maybe. Anyway, go on. Melting hooves.” 
GE: *disheveled and wild eyed* “You melt the damned things and then it turns into glue-”
BP1: “I’m going to interrupt you again.”
BP2: “Yeah, what the hell is glue?” 
GE: “Oh for fuck’s sake.” *slaps the recipe for glue on both their foreheads covered in said glue and walks away*
BP1: “I…I can’t get it- I can’t get it off…” 
BP2: “Jesus… It’s… it’s stuck to my face. HE NAILED IT TO MY FACE.” 
GE: *from the distance* “I GLUED IT YOU IMBECILE.” 

What’s your favourite kind of apple?

….apple? Well…uh I like green apples for making pies, like granny Smith ones and I like Spartan apples for eating plain because they take longer to oxidize when exposed to air and yellow ones for Apple crumble they tend to be more sweet and juicy. My favorite though are off the tree. Then they don’t have waxy coatings and they’re the perfect temperature and exactly the right kind of crunchy.

If you’ve never had apples dipped in peanut butter you are missing out.
….just saying.

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hi! i hope you’re doing well. :) might i ask if your fanfic switch-a-roo is discontinued?

Gosh I’m so sorry. It’s not- technically none of my unfinished works are discontinued. I’m under a bit of pressure right now and so I don’t foresee me working diligently on my fics until probably June (I know! I know, I’m sorry!)

You never know for sure though. Sometimes stories hit me like a freight train and I have to find room for them somewhere despite having no time or energy. Let’s pray that happens!

Much love,
Inky

leaper182:

galwednesday:

writing-prompt-s:

The royal family employs no bodyguards. A would-be assassin discovers why.

“Please?” the crown prince said hopefully.

The assassin hesitated. “I’m not sure I’m comfortable with this.”

“Come on, you’re doing great. Just one stab, it’ll be easy-peasy.” The prince  spread his arms wide, leaving his throat and chest vulnerable.

“Look, I’m going to level with you,” the assassin said. “I took this contract on the assumption that you were a bad dude. Usually when a country goes bankrupt this fast, it’s because whoever’s in charge is raiding the treasury. But once I infiltrated the guard, I actually had to spend time around you, and you’re just.” The assassin threw her hands up in disgust. “You’re a really nice person! There’s no getting around it! So I’m not super on board with murdering you now. Nothing personal.”

“But if you don’t, my sisters won’t get the life insurance payout, and the country will be in debt for the next century!”

“I’m pretty sure arranging for your own assassination is insurance fraud.”

“Your whole job is to commit murder,” the prince said, “and now you’re worried about a little insurance fraud?”

The assassin pinched the bridge of her nose. “Okay, let’s back up and think about this rationally. Have you considered faking your own death?”

This was not what I was expecting, and it is glorious.

Freaking fantastic. Kudos. Seriously

Text To Speech Reader. Online, Accurate, Free & Unlimited | TTSReader

giada-luna:

If you are writing and not using this website or app, you are missing out. Stuck? Can’t make a section work? Listen to someone else read it. Put it in your ears while you do other things and just listen. Before bed, while cleaning, driving – I can’t tell you how much it helps. You catch typos, word substitutions, and most importantly hearing it makes it easier to determine if it makes sense. 

I use it for fic, but i also use it for when I have an email at work and I am not sure how it reads. Working on that paper and not sure if you left something out? Been staring at it so long you can’t see mistakes? LISTEN to it.

It is a HUGE help, friends – and I think you can even use it to read sites, so FIC! Did you want to hear that awesome fic in a great accent? Voila! 

Use and share, lovelies!

Mind.blown

So helpful!

Text To Speech Reader. Online, Accurate, Free & Unlimited | TTSReader

cyberscully:

as a procrastinating overachiever i feel like i don’t necessarily “half-ass” things, it’s more like a “3/4 ass”. like overall did i do pretty well? yeah. did i reach my maximum potential though? i think the fuck Not.

This resonates