idontliveinatent:

LifePartner (Series #F777) Uchiha Model

Hinata wasn’t a man who demanded a lot, he liked to think of himself as a sole-sufficient person who can do both the housework and advanced self-defense.

Too bad his teammates saw him gazing longingly at Sakuran receiving an expensive and exquisite birthday gift and assumed he wanted one, too.

so now he was hauling a ridiculously big and heavy box into his apartment. the greeting card simply said: “U CANT RETURN THIS, ENJOY AT UR OWN RISK LOL” signed enthusiastically by Kibana and -unenthusiastically- Shino.

The first thing that greeted him once the tape was ripped off was the cold steam that escaped from the sealed container. the instructions manual started with a quick-start guide: Take the key and turn it counter-clockwise in the slot.

Hinata swallowed thickly and hoped his friends were pulling a prank on him, and that they didn’t really just buy him a LifePartner robot. Those models that have been developed and programed to serve as in-house medical assistants, lovers, and housemaids to those who do not have actual humans to fill the part.

AKA for forever alone customers but with some class. 

sadly for him, there was an actual model inside the Styrofoam protective packaging, and she was an Uchiha Model. those have been in the news the same year they came out: full of glitches, attitude malfunctions, but were gorgeous enough to be sold off as collector’s edition models. 

meaning: Whoever bought them probably never took them out of the box. 

Hinata glanced between the red-and-white key in his palm and the keyhole on the robot’s neck. On one hand, he wasn’t in any real need of a female life partner, let alone a robotic one. On the other, the female model that Sakuran got, named Naruko #F777 Uzumaki series, was programmed to function particularly well with the Uchiha models. The Jirai-YA company produced them this way as a means of promoting one with the other to boost up sales, but in the end it never worked out. Now the company mainly manufactures nurse models and love-robots to cover the massive losses.

With determination, Hinata stuck the key into the keyhole and turned it several times to wind up the energy source, just as the manual instructed. Slowly the thrum of energy surging through the model filled the silence of the living room. the model’s eyes drifted open as it awoke, red with the LEDs indicating the power up process was well underway.

Uchiha Sasuko (this model’s particular name, as printed on the ID tag hung around her neck) sat up in her styrofoam bed and observed her surroundings. the voice that came out of her mouth was not at all robotic, in fact, it carried some emotion far superior to some newer models. “Where the hell am I?“ 

Well, those weren’t exactly the words the manual said they’d be. “Hello… umm, Sasuko? My name is Hyu-”

“I don’t care what your name is. Where did that pervert go to? Why’d he power me off and then leave me with someone else?” The robot shot to her feet and stepped out of it’s cardboard confines, followed by an anxious -and instantly regretful- Hinata. “My location service is offline…”

Hinata glanced down at the quick start manual one more time. “Umm, look. It says here you will ask me for information for your setup process… S-So… I’m Hinata!”

Sasuko crossed her arms over her torso. “Setup? What are you talking about, I’ve had my setup with my first master. The latest one, taught me all about you humans and your social pattern. He promised to take me to the Itachi unit i was purchased with, so where is he?”

Hinata looked left and right but this was no prank, it was actual real life and it was happening right in the center of his apartment. “You’re a used unit?”

“Obviously.” She motioned to her lack of clothes, the beautiful dress and stockings she was promoted with was replaced with scraps of dustbag material. “He lied, didn’t he? I was programmed to learn from my owners and add it to my knowledge base, so i will add this incident as well: Humans always break promises.”

do robots get hurt feelings?

“So you are now my new owner?”

“Ummmm…” Hinata reached out gently to return the key to the slot on her neck, hoping to turn her off and return her to Kibana and Shino. let them deal with the return hassle!

“What are you doing?” Sasuko stared up unwaveringly at the new owner already getting friendly with her hair. “I see, I am to fulfill a lover’s role, yes?”

“What?! No!” He stammered, panicked that the female was going in for a hug, “I- I was just going to put the key back in!”

“Are you going to turn me off?” She asked, less angrily.

“Yes… Is that alright?”

The human face shifted into an expression of surprise, the glass eyes hooded into long synthetic lashes as the super computer inside the unit did some calculations. “You are asking me a sarcastic question.”

“No, i’m really asking if it’s alright to turn you off?” Hinata waited for an answer but the unit seemed to malfunction, it froze completely. “It doesn’t damage you or anything, right? You see, my friends bought you for me as a joke, so i’m going to ask them to return you to the factory.”

“I am a joke?” She asked, the voice algorithm glitched on the last syllable.

“You’re not a joke! I’m sure you’re great! It’s just that- well, I don’t need you!” that sounded even more hurtful! “I mean- I have no real purpose for you, you’ll be bored most of the time if you stay with me.”

“You are a man, i am a female model, this equation is incorrect.” The model blinked several times. “I have altered the database to correct your sexual orientation, Hyuu Hinata.”

“It’s Hyuuga, and there’s no need to- look- it’s” flustered, Hinata rubbed his hands together, determined not to show the heat in his cheeks to the glaring robot. “I only powered you up so you can be friends with the neighbor’s Uzumaki model!”

The glass eyes widened and the permanently-glossed mouth pulled up. “Uzumaki model confirmed! Error!” She coughed, “Missing Emotional-Intelligence Libaray files, please install the required dependencies before proceeding. Please do not turn off the unit before installation is complete.”

“What…?”

“Warning! Turning off the unit with missing Core functions may damage it permanently. Please reinstall the core software by inserting the packaged SD-Card into the slot under the keyhole.”

Hinata rummaged through the packaging material in the box but there was no SD card and no more manuals to look through.

He had received a used unit that he can’t safely turn off. A unit that was both damaged emotionally and electrically, but one that was happy about the thought of meeting it’s neighboring Uzumaki model. 

“Is there any way to fix the broken files other than the memory card?”

Sasuko nodded in affirmative. “I am one of the few models in production that came bundled with EmoIntel.LRN which allows me to recover broken files by observing and learning through other senses.”

“Meaning…?”

“Definition Playback: EmoIntel.LRN is a software designed specifically for LifePartner robots to enable an active learning curve. to teach your LifePartner unit an activity you may perform it in direct contact of any of their external senses. LifePartner units are able to learn activities and languages in a way that adheres to the owner’s liking and the surrounding environment, mainly through: watching, hearing, tasting, smelling and doing. some units may require a repetition of the same activity several times to create an accurate algorithm, please be patient with your LifePartner unit as specifications are different for each series.”

Hinata released a deep sigh, feeling a headache coming on. “So basically, i have to teach you the things your previous owners damaged?”

“Yes. He deleted them by hand even though i told him it would void the warranty.” Sasuko managed a small smile, it was almost creepy how the eye area was just as serious. “I will catch up if I watch you, so i’ll be living with you for a while. Please do not neglect to charge me, i randomly generated a favorite source of energy and it is tomatoes.”

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whimsical fanfic consisting of BOTH genderbend and AU ahahah

inspired by a drama cd series named E:RObotts where the protagonist signs up for a life partner (a robot, naturally) who may serve as he boyfriend, in return she has to teach them about life and love because those are things one needs to learn, not manually install. 

This was awesome.